Life by Braille

What I think is going to happen, vs what is actually happening are two very different things, and the most peaceful thing about that is I don’t have control over 90% of the outcomes. In fact, most of the time I imagine these grandiose outcomes and end up disappointed when they do not come to fruition, or better yet and even more often the case, I get down on myself and feel like I have failed before I’ve given a moment time to arrive.

Life is a mind game. That is my experience. The biggest problem in my day, without fail, is my contaminating it with thought. When did life become such a thinking game? I tend to notice that the things I enjoy most are activities that get me outside of my head, activities that are intuitive, where I can let go of all of worries and my plans go to the wayside, and I can feel life–kind of like living by braille. That is not to say that I escape all thought, but that I am so focused that my thoughts are ultimately concerned with what is in front of me right then and there.

This isn’t about finding the things that make our minds go blank. It’s about finding a space where we don’t think about the things that are not right in front of us. Where we don’t allow expectations of the future or dwelling on the past to corrupt our current moment. I’m a constant offender of lending space and energy to expectations about how the day should go, or how you should act, or attributing my  values onto others.

But really, hasn’t life reaffirmed the randomness of events by now? 28 years, you’d think I got with the program by now. You’d think all of us would have, but most of us haven’t. However, it’s not such a bad thing, but instead a process that must be undergone until we learn to cope with the randomness and frequent disappointments of life.

And while I mention things not coming to pass, failure, and expectations not being met, there is an upside to the whole life thing. You see, life is far to great, and there are far to many possibilities and variables circulating in existence for us to possibly be creative enough to conceive the magic that any given day might hold for us. And most of those magic moments, I think we can all agree, are the ones that come out of nowhere.

They are the times we decide to go to some place that is completely out of the norm, and by chance have a life changing encounter, or view, or experience. And it’s there that I think there is a secret, it’s actually in detaching from the mundane routines of our lives, by letting go of the expectations that we allow to govern our day, that we actually allow for new outcomes to play out in our lives. To meet new people, and see new places, and try new things. Ultimately, expectations sell us short, and they truly undermine the magnificence of the day.

It might seem trivial, but really think about it. We think ourselves into these cages, and are bound by preconceived notions about who we are supposed to be, and act, and ideas about how the world is supposed to operate. We get offended when the world pushes back, as if everything is wrong, forgetting that we are the center of our own perception, and that every other persons is just as valid to them as ours is to us.

What I think is right, vs what actually feels right are two very different things. And the most peaceful thing about this is I have control over 100% of the outcomes. Feelings aren’t facts, and thoughts aren’t actions, and they both occur within the confines of our minds. Pretty neat, huh? The enemy spinning that web of lies is you, and who better to combat that enemy than yourself?