Running, running, running. All the running had paid off, and we felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel, but in truth I still have quite a ways to go–even now. I’m sitting in a hotel in Anaheim right now. I flew into San Diego last night around 11:30, and after stopping by the house to grab some things, I headed back out just after midnight. I was in San Francisco from Sunday-Wednesday. When I left town, it was in a state of confusion, and I think that reflected in the last post.
I don’t know how I can make this not about me, because most of the things I write are about a revelation that I had, some great profound moment in my life, but in order to have those moments there was a long process. In this instance it’s been a process that started with the New Year. It has nothing to do with resolutions, but instead about change, and the continued journey of finding a place of harmony and balance in life, while maintaining a trajectory that’s not bound for failure.
When you start to ask yourself, “What am I doing?” it’s an indication that it’s time to distance yourself from life. There’s too much stimulation. Flying out to San Francisco did just that. Driving up to Anaheim did that as well. And being away I’ve been able to detach from obsessive behaviors. I’m not checking my phone as much, and I have more time to think about the decisions I’m making, and analyze them for what they actually are. I’m able to get away from the things that stimulate me, and find the part of me that has the solutions to the confusing dilemmas that have been occupying space in my head.
Not too long ago on a social media status update I wrote: “There ain’t nothin’ wrong with feeling lonely. It’s just a sign that it’s time to get busy.” This is one of the recent finds I’ve been considering as a recently found gem. At first I posted it for the same reason I post a lot of stuff: to save a sentence that I liked but had no place for, but the more I think about where my life is at, the more I realize that I’ve had too much time on my hands and that it really is time to get busy. It’s funny how that all works, because now I’m super busy, and the things that were occupying my mind do not seem all that serious anymore; they are being pushed to the wayside now.
I posted thought last night on social media captioning a photo I posted of my laying in a cell in Alcatraz yesterday: “Home isn’t a place. It’s something you have within and keep; you take it with you everywhere you go. Rest easy, my friends, no matter where the day may bring you, even if it’s in a dark damp rusty ancient prison cell on a cold steel bed.” I don’t know exactly what I intended by clipping that here, but with all the travelling and running amok lately, I think it’s just showing me that I don’t need to include more stuff from outside myself to make life better, but instead to bolster and reinforce the things within myself that allow me to be content everywhere I go.
Anyways… that’s where I’m at. I’m sitting in a hotel in Anaheim, really sleep deprived, but much more accountable that I’ve been in a long time, and as usual I’m psyched on the sweetness of life!
Content coming soon. Just haven’t been still in awhile.